From RP with Love: Life as an OFW wife

I haven't imagined myself as a wife of an overseas Filipino worker. One of my earlier convictions in life is for families to stay together as long as they live - both parents and children. As a young UP student, I rebelled at the idea of Filipinos abandoning their homes for years to earn dollars abroad, pointing the blame on our corrupt officials and inefficient government for not building an economy strong enough to meet the needs of its people.

And here I am twelve years later, an OFW wife.

It's been a month and 15 days since my husband left the Philippines to work abroad. This is his second time to leave me and our four-year old daughter, working as an IT professional for a a telco company. He is assigned to be on site for six months and then go back at the firm's Philippine office to continue his work.


As I look back at my ideals in life, I never knew that I will have to go against them and accept the fact that I will need to live such a life - and learn lessons that will forever change my views. My situation maybe different since my husband is not assigned on a two-year-and-up contract, but I believe every OFW wife, in one way or another, receives the same learning as I did.



1. Being away from each other test and builds trust. Many times, marriages go on the rock because of trust issues. I know, I have been here. The first time he was away, we were probably fighting on the phone every month - because of my little jealous self. But I learned that I must trust my spouse and express this to him. Trust is like setting good expectations, not too high. People rise to the occasion when something good is expected from them. The more I trusted my husband, the more he became sensitive to that trust.

2. Being away from each other built my capacity to become responsible as well. I am blessed to have a responsible and hardworking spouse - who has allowed me to resign from work to focus on taking care of our home and our sweet little, co-creation Nicole. As I manage the finances of the home, I have decided to pour in the MS Excel and budgeting skills that I learned from over nine years of working in the corporate world. To date, every centavo, every peso that I spend is well accounted in our home budget. Spending is monitored and plotted every day and every month for my husband's reference. Apart from finances, I also learned to keep better track of the use of our utilities, calendar of activities, and making sure that I meet all home-related obligations.

3. Allow him to fulfill his dreams and career goals. He is not just a family man, he also has dreams to prove himself and achieve something worthwhile. I know my husband wants to make a big career move and this is his break. And this is perhaps the biggest reason why I gave him my 100% approval and support.

4. Be a friend rather than a stalker. When we were in the early stages of our marriage and on his first time to work abroad, I was close to becoming a stalker - suspecting his every move, late night coming-home, his whereabouts, companions and the list can go on. I learned that this doesn't do any good. My husband dreaded my calls and texts. And worst, I suffered from sleepless nights, restless thoughts, and nightmares. I am glad I got past that. Today, I am just a friend dropping by a hello, an "I love you!" and sharing happy experiences that happened at home with him. As a friend, I also make sure that I encourage him to share his highs and lows of the day - to ensure that he can have someone to let it all out.

5. Trust God and draw strength from Him. In the end, we are all humans occasionally slipping here and there. I learned that I can only find my rest and strength in God, and He will take care of me, my husband and my family. I cannot stretch out my hands and control every situation. He can only do that. He said "Be still and know that I am God." And so I rest and rely on Him alone. He will be the one to take care of my husband from far away and I know He will.

And so I wrote this blog because I miss my husband already. And I just want to thank him for all his hardwork and love.

I want him to know that his home is in good hands and that me and our daughter are always praying and waiting for him to come home soon. :)